Neck tie

What was the worst hangover I’d ever had?

We’d been drinking cheap wine, the cheapest, and had gone through bottles of the stuff. Red, like oxygenated blood. I got up from the bed and sat by the window. Sally got up with a grunt and I heard her pad off into the bathroom. I lit the first cigarette of the morning and swallowed hard. It felt refreshing with the smoke in my lungs. I could hear the traffic from the road outside mumbling and suddenly I saw a body fall past my window. A man’s body. He was dressed in a suit with a neck tie done up. It was neat. I swear I could see his top button fastened. He was falling in what seemed like slow motion. The human body when it’s falling does not pass quickly. Then...it was gone. The building we were staying in was not the tallest. Nine floors. Now I don’t know if he died or not but I am sure he would have crippled himself for life. I don’t know.

Am I crazy? I thought to myself. Did I just see that? I am sure I saw a body go by; I know it was a body that went by. So I hollered to the bathroom. Hey Sally. Guess what?

Yeah what?

I just saw the strangest thing.

Yeah?

Yeah. A human body. It just dropped by my window. He was all lined up. The feet first and then the head at the top. He was just falling through the air. He dropped right past the window.

Bullshit!

I said No no it really happened. I’m not making it up.

She said Ah c’mon. You’re trying to be funny. You’re not funny.

I know I’m not funny I said. Look I’ll tell ya what. Come on out here and take a look out the window. Stick your head out the window and look down.

She said Alright, here I come.

She walked back out the bathroom. Sagging in the places that were pert the night before.

She stuck her head out the window and all I heard was Oh Gawd almighty!

She ran back to the bathroom and puked and puked and puked.

Well I thought as I sat there. I told you so baby, I told you so. Then I wandered over to the refrigerator and got myself a beer. I still didn't look out the window though because I was feeling bad. I drank some of the beer and I felt better. I’m not sure why though.

Maybe because I was right for once.